All those years together and then we decided to add another bit of crazy to our existence. And The Kid has lived up to his expectations. He is our spawn so we really expected a lot from him.
The Mama is nearly 2 years into sleep deprivation and not sure what day of the week it is. Go ahead, ask me. I have no idea. In a former life, I was a fundraiser and general do gooder. Then I had The Kid and he took most of my brain power (he siphons it off of me along with 97.4% of my energy), so I gave up the glamorous world of nonprofit and settled into motherhood. And I'm kind of good at it. Or at least I am when I remember to feed him. I love to travel (though I've barely left the play mat since The Kid's birth so a good jaunt to the mailbox is an exotic locale these days), I love to write (and think I'm funny, but I've been known to be wrong on these things before) and even though I'm not Jewish I live what I call a "Jewish lifestyle". Long story, don't ask.
Dear Old Dad is a top spy for a super secret organization aimed at protecting the world from fascist dictators and lawless cats. He made me write that. He's really a gypsy souled brilliant fella that keeps me on my toes and blames me at least 28 times a day for his lost keys and wallet. His part time hobby includes driving me up the wall and collecting Master's Degrees. He adores The Kid and got over changing his diapers with a stolen box of rubber gloves from the hospital in about two weeks. Now he only squeals like a girl when he gets poop on him.
The Kid is a toddler. I could end that introduction here, but I won't. He's too big for his britches most days. From his arrival, he has tried to grow up too fast and out fox his parents. He loves to eat some days and pretends we're poisoning him the next, is convinced he has full control of my phone and the remote, adores his crabby old as dirt dog most days and tries to stick cheese sticks up her butt other days, he likes to talk during story time which reminds me of another person I know who constantly got in trouble for talking, loves making velociraptor noises at 11 pm, 3 am and 6 am and plays like a boss.
He hates sleeping, mama sleeping, dad sleeping, the dog sleeping, not being center of any one's attention, having clothes on and sitting in a dirty diaper for more than 2.4 seconds.
About The Nap Time ChroniclesSometimes a too up close and personal chronicling of life with The Kid. Expect hilarity, self-deprecation, sarcasm and maybe a serious note thrown in every now and then. Written during nap times, which can last anywhere between 4 minutes and 2 and a half hours, I'm not really sure what you'll find here on any given day. Sometimes it'll be brilliant, most days expect ramblings of a sleep deprived mind and occasionally don't be surprised if you come across a series of letters on the screen--I probably fell asleep on the keyboard.
I hope to have equally as sarcastic and hilarious mommy (and daddy) guest bloggers, so if you are interested, please contact me and send in your full resume, cover letter, a background check and fingerprints. Then send me $29.99 for the honor and I will consider it. No? Okay well, just contact me here then.
Gotta run, nap time is over!