I'll invite my fellow nominees to the stage and graciously call them the real winners while secretly flipping them the bird in my head. Of course, I'll have to thank my mom and dad and The Big Guy Upstairs. I'll forget to thank my husband. But that's okay, he'll get really jealous of my new found success and fame then file for divorce in a month anyway.
Wait, that's for my Oscar...
This is my Liebster Award...gah. So many to keep up with.
My hilarious and brave friend (she's got 5 kids people...5! That she homeschools!) over at Diapers...or Wine presented me with this award. I'm so humbled by it since she is quite possibly in my top 3 of funniest people in the entire universe. Thank you for the honor.
Alrighty now to the Liebster Award acceptance speech.
11 quirky facts about yours truly:
1. I tell everyone I'm 5' tall. I'm a lying liar who lies.
2. No matter how many taco seasoning packets or bags of spinach we have, I think we don't have any and always buy more. We have 5 taco seasoning packets in the pantry right now. We rarely eat tacos.
3. I have an irrational phobia of frogs. Can.not.deal. God got it wrong when he made those spawns of the devil.
4. My wedding was during a category 2 hurricane. Cause I'm a badass mofo. I'm the Chuck Norris of brides.
5. I wreck my car...a lot. The only original piece of my last car was the driver's side door and the side mirrors. That's it. Of course it's never my fault. Last week, the garage door actually rammed my bumper. I swear.
6. I am a little OCD about time. I can't wake up unless the minute is divisible by 5. Sometimes my husband sets my alarm for 7:03 just to screw with me. I'm just a little crazy, ya'll. Not a lot crazy.
7. I played on soccer in Europe when I was 15. And when I say played soccer, I mean got drunk for the first time and the second time and the third time.
8. I keep Kosher even though I'm not Jewish. <----- Have fun with that one.
9. I've rarely taken off my wedding ring in the past 4 years. Mostly because I can't get the damn thing off. I'm for reals. That sucker is stuck good. I have a feeling the husband did that on purpose.
10. I'm a serial blogger along with being a serial hobbyist. I lived in Israel for a year recently and it was the best year of my life. Of course I had to blog about that too.(www.abrideinthedesert.blogspot.com is my now defunct blog if you are at all interested. You're not? Oh, okay then.)
11. I HATE moving, yet we've moved 7 times in 10 years. Getting ready for #8 as we speak.
11 Questions I have to Answer:
1.) If you could be a celebrity for a day, who would it be?
I probably should say someone awesomely talented or insanely rich. But let's be honest here: Blake Lively, because she gets to schtoop Ryan Reynolds.
2.) Who would you rather have dinner with, Oprah, Jenny McCarthy, or Lady Gaga?
Oprah. So I could woo her with my winning personality and convince her to give me a couple mil. Plus I'd have to throat punch Jenny McCarthy and gouge out my own eardrums with a q-tip if I had to listen to Lady Gaga actually talk.
3.) Favorite movie?
Wall-E. I freakin' love that movie. Or Princess Bride. I freakin' love that movie, too. I'm a child, I know.
4.) Someone gives you a new, perfect home. Catch is, you have to leave EVERYTHING. Can't take one thing, not a picture, not a pillow. What do you do?
I wouldn't take it. Even though I complain about my piles of crap all over my house, I couldn't live without my beloved crap. Can I leave behind my husband's piles of crap instead and still take the house? That seems fair.
5.) The drink you could not live without?
Coffee, yep even over boxed wine. I'm a monster without my coffee. Makes me all sweaty palmed and sick just thinking I couldn't have coffee. But, I could quit anytime I wanted. Don't give me that side-eye...I could.
6.) What should you be doing with all the time you spend on Twitter or your blog?
Oh...laundry, eating, making homemade baby food, cooking gourmet meals for the hubby, finishing any of the gajillion projects I have, charity work, reading something intellectual, learning Hebrew, doing something to earn an income, earning my Master's Degree, brushing up on my presidential candidates to make an informed decision. Ya know, nothing of any value really.
7.) WORST movie you have ever-ever seen where you want your life back?
Probably Showgirls for obvious reasons, but V for Vendetta is pretty close. Not because its a bad movie, its actually pretty good, but because its my husband's favorite movies and I've seen it 42 times. Besides chocolate and sex, nothing is good after that many times. And sex is iffy.
8.) Most amazing thing that has ever happened to you?
Having my baby boy of course. Living abroad is second.
9.) What kind of wedding dress did you wear (or prom dress if wedding doesn't apply)?
It was a classic strapless, form fitting beautiful cream colored dress with scalloped lace edges. If I could still fit in it, I'd wear it around the house to vaccum and do the dishes. That would get me a one way ticket to the loony bin from the husband for sure.
10.) Fave song of all time?
You are my Sunshine. My mama sang it to me and I sing it to The Kid. He loves it.
11.) Partridge Family or Brady Bunch?
Patridge Family. The Brady Bunch creeps me out. I think there are some filthy Brady secrets behind those smiling faces and I don't like it one bit. Sickos.